If you’ve followed my journey for any length of time, you probably know that I spend a lot of time talking about empowerment, resilience, and gratitude.
And the truth is….I am grateful.
I am grateful to be alive.
I am grateful for modern medicine, for second chances, for the people who stood beside me when I was at my lowest, and for every experience that brought me to where I am today. I am grateful for Empowear. I am grateful for the incredible people I have met through this community. I am grateful for the opportunities that continue to unfold in front of me.
But lately, I’ve been reminded of something important: Gratitude and suffering can exist at the same time.
You can be thankful for your life and still feel overwhelmed. You can be excited about the future and still cry yourself to sleep. You can be building something beautiful and still wonder if you’re strong enough to carry it. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. You can love your body for what it has survived and still struggle with the physical and emotional scars it carries.
For awhile now, I thought that because I had survived so much, I should be able to handle anything. That somehow surviving major surgeries, having an autoimmune disease, living with an ostomy, raising children sick and alone, rebuilding my life, and chasing impossible dreams meant I was supposed to be emotionally invincible. But that’s not how being human works. The reality is that strength doesn’t eliminate pain. Sometimes the strongest people are simply the ones who keep moving while carrying it.
Recently, I’ve been struggling emotionally. I’ve questioned relationships. I’ve questioned myself. I’ve felt exhausted, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. There have been days when I felt disconnected from people I love. Days when my body felt like it was fighting against me. Days when I wondered why I felt sad when so many good things were happening around me.
And then I realized I don’t need to earn the right to feel pain just because others have it worse. I don’t need to hide my struggles because I have blessings. I don’t need to pretend everything is okay simply because I have survived worse.
The truth is that healing isn’t a straight line. Some days I feel unstoppable. Some days I feel broken. Most days I feel like something in between. And maybe that’s where many of us live……in the space between gratitude and grief, strength and vulnerability, hope and fear.
As someone living with an autoimmune disease and an ostomy, I’ve learned that healing is rarely about becoming the person you were before. It’s about learning to love the person you are now, in this moment.
That sounds beautiful in theory. In practice, it’s messy. It’s grieving the body you once had while appreciating the body that saved your life and accepting what it is now. It’s celebrating milestones while still carrying trauma. It’s smiling in photos while managing pain no one else can see. It’s learning that confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity. It’s choosing to show up anyway.
I wanted to write this because I know someone reading this needs to hear it. Maybe you’re struggling with your health. Maybe you’re navigating a difficult point in your relationship. Maybe you’re raising children, building a business, caring for everyone else, and quietly wondering who is taking care of you. Maybe you’re carrying burdens that nobody knows about.
If that’s you, I want you to know this:
You are not failing because you’re struggling. You are not weak because you’re emotional.
You are not ungrateful because you’re hurting.
You are human. And being human is complicated.
Before I close, I want to be honest about one more thing. Everything I’ve written here is true, but that doesn’t mean I’ve mastered it. It’s easy for me to write these words. It’s much harder for me to live them every day. I still struggle to give myself grace. I still carry burdens longer than I should. I still have moments where I doubt myself, question my worth, or try to convince myself that I should be able to handle everything on my own. So if you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s easier said than done,” please know that I agree. These aren’t lessons I’ve perfected. They’re lessons I’m still learning.
That’s one of the reasons Empowear means so much to me. This community was never meant to be about one person having all the answers. It was meant to be a place where we remind each other that we’re stronger than we think, especially on the days when we don’t feel strong at all. At Empowear, we talk a lot about empowerment. But true empowerment isn’t pretending we’re fearless. It’s having the courage to be honest about our fears. It’s allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It’s admitting that even the strongest among us sometimes need support, understanding, and grace
So let’s do this together. Let’s remind each other to be kinder to ourselves. Let’s remind each other that healing isn’t linear. Let’s remind each other that vulnerability is not weakness. Let’s remind each other that asking for help is a sign of courage, not failure. And on the days when one of us forgets, the others can help carry the message.
Because empowerment isn’t something we achieve alone. It’s something we build together. Today, I’m giving myself that grace. And if you need permission to do the same, consider this your reminder.
You don’t have to have it all together. You don’t have to be positive every minute of every day. You don’t have to carry everything alone. You are allowed to be grateful and struggling. Strong and hurting. Hopeful and healing. All at the same time.
And if nobody has told you lately, I’m proud of you for continuing to show up.
I know how hard that can be.
With love,
Shanen
Founder, Empowear
“Designed to empower. Built to wear.”
